A spiritual direct deposit

Like a lot of people I have my paycheck directly deposited into my bank account. I know with confidence funds will be available at 12 am est the night prior to payday. I often began swiping my debit card before I check my bank statement to verify I have the money deposited into my account. This is normally not a big deal because the money is always there on payday. So I had a lesson on faith at the grocery store. I was buying groceries and I heard the Holy Spirit say, you have a lot of faith in your bank account. Why aren’t you that confident in your faith in me? I was blown away. The Holy Spirit then said to me, where does your income come from? I said my employer pays me. Wrong answer! God promptly reminded me that He is my source for everything. I quickly realized I needed a paradigm shift in my thinking. I was thinking in limited terms and focused on earthly things. Worst of all I was trusting in man and not God. I asked God, how on earth is this possible? How do I develop this mentality of a spiritual direct deposit? Lord, how can I walk with confidence that I can totally trust you automatically without hesitation?  In theory this sounds so good….and so spiritual. I mean, don’t we sing songs about this very thing at church every week? So why is it so hard to put faith into practice? How does this happen? Here are a few things I've learned:

Learn to crucify the flesh

To put our faith in Christ alone we have to learn to crucify the flesh daily. This involves choice and action. I have to make the decision to die to myself and then obey what God is telling me to do. This is a daily process. Jesus died on the cross for our sins. The bible says that we must deny ourselves, pick up our cross and follow Christ.When putting your faith in Christ it means that you died and now your life is in Christ. We give him control of our lives which means all hopes, dreams, wants, desires. Then look to Christ alone to fulfill you. God tells us His will for our lives step by step. You have to obey step 1 to get to step 2, 3, 4 and so on. If you don’t obey step one and try to get to step ten God will always re direct you back to step one before you can move forward.

“For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!" (Galatians 2:19-21, NIV)

 Obey God and leave the consequences to Him

My pastor talks about this all the time. He is completely right! I have experienced this myself. One thing I have also discovered is that I find it literally impossible to trust God when I am being disobedient. This is because I start trusting in myself and relying on my own understanding. Then I get all confused and frustrated. The bible says God will confuse the proud but give grace to the humble. My desire to do things my way is a form of pride. Disobedience is sin; partial obedience is also sin. I have also learned that sin runs wild. Whenever I start thinking hey I can dabble in a little sin in this area and it will be OK, I am always wrong! If I'm disobeying in one area it spills over to other areas like a wild fire which makes it impossible for me to trust God. Being disobedient also causes a loss of intimacy with God.When I obey God and allow him to run my life his peace comes over me like a tidal wave. I feel joy and excitement because I know He is taking care of my life. It also brings me back in close relationship with God. 

Spend time with God

I find it hard to trust someone I don’t know. This is how it works with God. The more time we spend with Him the more you know His character and the more you will be able to trust him. When you earnestly seek God He will draw near to you as you draw near to Him.

“The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love him, but the wicked he will destroy.” (Psalm 145: 17-20)

Be honest with God

I have fallen into the trap of telling God one thing but feeling totally different in my heart. It makes no sense to do this. God knows everything. He knows our secret thoughts, he knows our motives and intentions (Hebrews 4:13).  If something is bothering you, be honest. God knows anyway. When I had this lesson at the grocery store I realized I didn't completely trust God and I told Him the truth. I also asked him to help me, change me and give me renewed mind and heart. The good news is God is faithful to his word but we have to also do our part. 

Faith and Alzheimer's Disease

God loves people with Alzheimer's. I feel  really strongly that someone needs to know that.Writing about Alzheimer’s is really difficult for me. It’s emotionally painful, scary and unpredictable for the loved ones of its victims. Alzheimer’s has plagued my family. My grandmother has dementia which is a rapidly progressing form of Alzheimer’s.  

According to alz.org Dementia is not a specific disease. It’s an overall term that describes a wide range of symptoms associated with a decline in memory or other thinking skills severs enough to reduce a person’s ability to perform everyday activities. Alzheimer's is the most common form of dementia, a general term for memory loss and other intellectual abilities serious enough to interfere with daily life. Alzheimer's disease accounts for 50 to 80 percent of dementia cases.

I've given you the medical definition of Alzheimer’s. But I define it as a thief. It steals the minds of its victims.  My grandmother has dementia and I struggle with feelings of anger over her condition. 

One day I was trying my best to reason with my grandmother in the midst of her confused state. On this day she was particularly stubborn. It was well past bedtime and she didn't want to go to sleep.  I started to become frustrated with her defiance. I wanted to scream…just go to bed so I won't have to worry about wondering out the house in the middle of the night! Instead, I took a deep breath and sat on the bed. I started to talk to her and asked do you know who I am? I braced myself for her response because I knew the answer before I asked the question. She smiled looked into my eyes and said “I don’t know who you are but I know you love me.” Her words melted my heart. I hugged her all while struggling to hold back tears. I didn't go through the total emotional meltdown I was bracing myself for.  Instead, I felt God comfort my heart. 

God revealed to me she doesn't know me but she recognized His love which is His Holy Spirit living inside of me. In the days that followed, I realized I had done something so completely selfish. Over time I subconsciously wrote her off in my mind as already dead.  As I look back, this didn't happen overnight. It was so gradual I was completely blinded to it. I stopped calling her as much, I stopped buying her gifts, and I stopped praying for her. It was selfish of me because I did this as a defense mechanism.  The pain felt unbearable because she is so far from the vibrant, feisty and witty person I once knew. 

On that day I finally understood something; God has given me the grace to do the difficult things in life.God spoke this to Paul when he asked God to take away the thorn in his flesh. God choose not to take the thorn away but by God’s power Paul was empowered to complete God’s will for his life. (2 Corinthians 12: 7-10)  I can’t become consumed with my own selfishness and my feelings over dementia. My grandmother needs me more than ever. More importantly she needs Christ. Before she was stricken with dementia I have every reason to believe she hadn't given her life to Christ and that Jesus was not the Lord of her life. I have started to pray she will receive Christ as her savior before she leaves this earth. 

God has also given you this grace to get through the difficult seasons in your life. I don't know what you are going through but it's no accident you are reading this. God's grace is sufficient. It doesn't matter if the trial is painful and scary. It’s so easy to try and rush our way out of painful situations. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I want to squirm out of a difficult situation immediately. It’s our human nature to want to run from difficult situations but I believe God‘s glory is often revealed even more in the hard times.