Hyperhydrosis....yep I have that

Hello: My name is Andreea and I have hyperhidrosis. I'm sure you are thinking what in the world is hyperhidrosis? If you have it you know all too well what it is. If you don’t then you may be clueless about this condition. So let me explain what it is.

 According to the Mayo Clinic.org Hyperhidrosis (hi-pur-hi-DROE-sis) is excessive sweating that occurs even when the temperature isn't hot and you're not exercising. In some people who have hyperhidrosis, the sweat literally drips off their hands. Hyperhidrosis usually affects the palms of the hands, soles of the feet and underarm.

So basically Hyperhidrosis is the official medical term but it’s basically summed up as being extra sweaty. It is hereditary and it affects different parts of the body. In my case it is centralized to my hands, feet and underarms. Doctors are unsure why people have it or what exactly causes it. It is related to the way a person’s mind processes fear, stress and anxiety.  I know it may seem so simple…. It’s mind over matter, right? Well not exactly.  For people who have hyperhidrosis it’s not so simple and once the sweating starts it’s something you can’t really control.

I just want to let you know how big of a deal it is for me to share this with the world. There was a time in my life when I would have never ever, ever ,ever in a thousand years considered writing about this condition. I wanted to pretend it didn't exist because I felt abnormal and I was afraid I would be teased about it. I spent a large portion of my life miserable over “what-if” scenarios related to my sweating. I let this fear paralyze me for a really long time.  At one point I was afraid of trying new things because I was so afraid someone would find out. Talk about being paranoid…yes that was me.

I have been extra sweaty my entire life.  I mean from the time I was born. I remember when I was really young I was a sweaty little thing. I remember my granny trying to pull socks over my little sweaty feet.  Sometimes I would sweat for no apparent reason.  I would be watching cartoons and my hands would just start sweating. When I was in school, I would wet up my notebook paper. I would have to fold up another piece of paper and put it under my hand so that I wouldn’t wet up the entire page. It was bad and pretty embarrassing. My gosh, let me tell you, my hands would literally drip with sweat.

The thought of holding hands was the worst! It made me so nervous. The sweating would take over and I couldn't really control it at all. I would get so anxious at the thought that someone would notice and mention it that I would sweat even more. It was a vicious cycle!  One time I acted like a complete weirdo and almost ran out of a church service because the girl next to me had to hold my hand and I didn’t want her to find out.  The worst part is that I wasn’t a child at the time. I was in my late 20’s! OK it’s safe to say over the years I have made a complete fool of myself to say the least. I have learned ways to manage it and I‘ve learned things that work to help.  But ultimately the sweating is still there; it’s just part of me.

There are treatments for this condition such as Botox or surgery. These options are super expensive and the results are not guaranteed to last. I’m not really getting into treatment options here.  But I will say this, when I became a Christian and truly believed in God’s healing power, I was like great, Lord please take this sweaty thing away. God decided not to take it away and that’s OK. Please understand me, if God never chooses not to heal me of this. I’ve decided I will still praise Him! This means His grace will strengthen me and enable me to live with it. It may not be God’s plan to take this away from me but it is His will I talk about it and share my experience with others. 

I want to talk about this because I want you to avoid all the stress I went through over this. Every person on this earth has something they wish they could change. You are not alone! The devil had me convinced I had to live on an island and I had to pretend to be perfect so no one could ever find out about this huge flaw. The devil is a complete liar! Of course it seemed 20 times bigger in my mind because it was “my” insecurity. That’s the thing about insecurities; whatever bothers you about yourself can be blown completely out of proportion because it is so personal to you.  In reality, most people don’t really think it’s that big of a deal when they find out about it.

I am 31 years of age and I am finally learning how to accept things about myself and my prayer is this blog will inspire you to do the same no matter your age. Now that I'm finally learning to love me for me, flaws and all, I often wonder why it took me so long!

 If you sweat excessively please know that you’re not alone. Please don’t let it stop you from trying things and meeting new people. We all have something and sometimes there are many things we wish we could change about ourselves. But it’s OK that’s what makes you, you. It’s the quirky things about us that make us special. Maybe your issue isn’t sweating and it’s something different. Stop thinking about it as the worst thing in the wold and use it to encourage someone else! Talking about hyperhidrosis was truly difficult for me. Now that I'm able to talk about it God is freeing me from the shame and fear over it and for that I’m grateful! 

Life lesson from a child

Honestly, I don’t want to live like I know God today. I want tell off that rude person at my job. I don’t feel like praying. I don’t feel like renewing my mind with the word of God. I want to give up on trusting God to direct my path. I feel stagnant. Like all the things I should be doing just aren’t going the way I planned. I want to quit. I want to live my way instead of obeying God. I don’t write this to be negative; just to be honest. We all have these days…well I can’t speak for you but I know I have these days. Days when I question God’s will for my life. Days when I look around and it seems like everyone else is moving forward and I feel stuck in the mud. I decided to write a blog on an uninspired day because I thought maybe someone else could be encouraged on a day when I’m not feeling it; which would be awesome! Contrary to my bend toward self-centeredness right now the world is still spinning and there are still people who are hurting, there are people who still need to know the love of Jesus and people who need encouragement. My feelings do not get the final say. They don’t rule me!

So now that I’m done ranting. I want to tell you about a life lesson I learned over the weekend from a little friend of mine. The lesson is this: The way we perceive challenges are up to us. We can wallow in self-pity and bitterness or we can get up and keeping pressing forwarded. Of course I’m sure you already know this. I’m not telling you anything new. We all know we have a choice. But there are times when something you already know comes to life in an unexpected way and you gain a new perspective. That’s what I want to tell you about. I recently learned this lesson from a child of all people. Children are so amazing. God has given them the resiliency to keep getting up even when the odds are against them.

I went to a skating rink with some friends. My friend brought her 6 year old nephew. His name is Coby. Prior to this day, Coby hadn’t ever put on a pair of skates in his young life but he was truly convinced he knew how to skate.  It’s safe to say he’s a pretty confident child! Well after Coby put on the skates we saw immediately he had no clue how to skate. He couldn’t even stand up on the skates without falling down every single time. My friend began to teach him and talk to him about what he needed to do to get better. He took her advice and by the end of the night he practically didn’t need the kiddie walker thing to get his balance. He could stand, find his balance, and even turn on the skates by the time he left.  Amazing! He drastically improved in just a few hours!  

Throughout the entire time he fell so many times I literally quit counting.  But every SINGLE time he fell, he would get right back up without hesitation, complaining, grumbling or whining. I knew for sure he would throw up both hands and say “I quit this is too hard." But guess what, it never happened. We were amazed at his tenacity and determination.  All the adults admitted we would have given up long ago. He didn’t quit because he knows something we forget as adults. He understood it was a process to learn how to skate and the only way he could get better was to get back up and keep trying! You see, the most amazing quality of this child was that it never occurred to him to give up.

I used learning to skate as a metaphor for our lives but the principles still apply. Here are a few key things I learned from watching Coby. These are also biblical principles we can use in our lives as Christians.

1. Display confidence. (Psalm 118:6)
2. Take wise counsel. (Proverbs 12:20)
3.  Stay focused. Don’t look to the right or the left. (Deuteronomy 5:31-33)
4. 4  Don’t be afraid to fall. (Deuteronomy 31:5-6)

So on days when you feel uninspired does that mean you quit and walk away from God? NO WAY. Feeling discouraged is just that….feelings. You don’t have to act out what you feel.  It’s true I feel discouraged today but this is just one day. This one day doesn't define me. God still loves me and guess what He loves you too whether you have a good day or bad day. God promised you that He started a good work in you and He will see it through to completion. My prayer is that you will be encouraged today to get back up, dust yourself off, and keep pressing forward. 

Living for Christ in college

I work with college students for a living and trust me I know it’s hard to live for Jesus while in college. It is my passion in life to work with young adults and college students; I love it! It saddens me so much when I see young men and women selling themselves so short of what God has for them. When I was in college I was not a Christian. I lived for my own selfish ambition. I truly didn't believe I could have a relationship with God. I had a friend who I love dearly and she was the only person I knew in college who said she was a Christian and actually lived like it. She was confident in her faith and didn't get involved in any of the ungodly things college life had to offer. She never preached to me, beat me over the head with the bible or condemn me. Her life song ministered to me. Looking back, I think about the things I observed from her just by her lifestyle and convictions. I became a Christian after college but in retrospect God definitely used my friend to plant a seed of faith in my heart. I feel like I'm writing this for someone who is a Christian but has become distracted with college life. God wants you to bring your focus back to him. He wants to use you to minister to lost and hurting people on your campus. Let me share some things I've learned along the way I wish I would've known in college.

Develop a quiet time daily

This is so super important. You will not grow in your walk with God if you don’t spend time with Him. I know life can be hectic as a busy college student with tests and papers but the truth of the matter is we will make time for what is important to us….period.  Trust me it doesn't get any easier after college. I don’t say that to be discouraging. I say it because there is never going to be a time when every condition is perfect. You have to be determined to spend quality time with the Lord. It takes discipline. It’s not about being legalistic. It’s about having a relationship with God.  The more you draw near to him the more he will draw near to you.  If you need help or are unsure where to start Joyce Meyer has a book called: How to Hear from God: Learn to Know His Voice and Make Right Decisions.  You can get it from Amazon or probably any bookstore.  Another good resource is a blog by a powerful bible teacher named Heather Lindsey called: How to spend time with God. 

Determine beforehand that you will live for Christ

The longer I walk with God the more I see there is truly no middle ground. You are either living for God or you’re living for the world which is ruled by Satan (James 4:4-7). I know that may sound harsh but it’s the truth. I've learned this the hard way. You have to make the decision you will live for Christ wholeheartedly in order to walk in the supernatural strength required to live a victorious Christian life. In the book of Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were young men who decided they would not bow down to any man made idol (Daniel 3: 13-18). They purposed in their minds and hearts they would worship the only true and living God. Do you think they made this decision five minutes before? No way! Those Hebrew boys decided this long before being faced with death for refusing to worship an idol. That’s the way it should be with us. When you are faced with the option to go to that party or stay up and “talk” late at night in that super cute guy’s dorm room, what choice will you make? It’s not wise to wait until the opportunity presents itself. God desires to have a relationship with you. He wants you to spend time with him. He loves you!  Yes, it will be difficult but when you spend more time reading the word, praying and seeking God, he will give you the grace to stand for Christ and say no to the things of this world.

Guard your heart

I can’t stress this enough. Guarding your heart is beyond essential to growing in your relationship with Christ. I know it is tough with all of our gadgets and social media. The bottom line is this: whatever you are feeding will grow the most. Feed your flesh and it will rule you and lead you astray. Feed your spirit and you will have power to obey God. The best way to start guarding your heart is to work on one thing at a time. There is usually an area God is nudging you to pull back from (we all have them). Allow him to guide you and show you. If it is something you think you can’t let go of tell God the truth and ask him to help you. He will do it! But we have to do our part too. When you are intentional about guarding your heart you will see your desires change. It’s such an awesome experience! You will be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Your “want to” will be different. You will have more of a desire to live your life in a way that is pleasing to God.

Also, be mindful about things that aren't necessarily a sin but may lead you to have negative emotions or shift your focus away from God.  Paul said “everything is permissible for me – but not everything is beneficial” (1 Corinthians 6: 12, NIV). I’ll give you an example from my life. At one point I was really struggling with being single and seriously considered settling for a man that I knew was way less than God’s best. So, what did I do? I watched a marathon of Say Yes to the Dress. Watching 20 episodes of that TV show was not good for me. Is watching that show a sin? No, I don’t believe so. But it was not uplifting for my spirit at the time. All it did was keep my focus on what I didn't have instead of on God. I could have used that time to pray or study the word. Instead I was wallowing in self-pity. Don’t be like that. Guard your heart.

Distance yourself from people pulling you away from God

If you are spending time with someone that pulls you away from Christ it is best to Cut them off! It may be just for a season or forever. Here’s a few ways to identify if a person is pulling you away from God. The first one is obvious: The person encourages you to do things contrary to your beliefs as a Christian. Every time you walk away from him/her you feel hostile toward God, you don’t even want to look at your bible and forget about praying. This is generally because God has told you to distance yourself and you don’t want to. Let it go! I’ve learned this the hard way too many times. It was usually over some random man who shouldn't have been in my life in the first place. You may have to go through a period where you feel lonely and isolated. It’s Ok; it’s only for a season.

Get around committed Christians

I read somewhere that your closest friends they are a direct representation of who you are. There is truth to that. The bible says “Don’t be mislead:  bad company corrupts good character “ (1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV).  You will start to be like the people you surround yourself with. Beware, this can happen very subtly. You can hang around negative complaining friends and find yourself being that way over time.  I’m not saying to avoid people all together. It is good to have healthy relationships. I am saying you have to be really selective about who is in your inner circle. It is also a good idea to establish accountability partners. Iron sharpens iron. You are never too young or old for accountability. I am over 30 and I have people in my life who keep my accountable to obeying God’s word.  Seek friends who are striving toward holiness. If you are on the same mission you can help keep each other accountable when you feel weak or discouraged. Also, it is wise to look for same sex friends to be accountability partners. It is also essential to belong to a community of believers. Find a bible believing church or bible study to get plugged into.  

Stay in your lane

You need to be focused on your purpose my friend. Don’t look to the right or the left. Embrace the person God created you to be. Don’t compare your gift to another person’s gift. God created all of us to do His will on this earth in our own unique way. I wasted so much of my life comparing myself to others. DON’T make the same mistakes I did. I believe this is one of Satan’s many tactics to keep us distracted from our purpose. Be free from this bondage. The best way to do this is to seek your worth and value from Christ alone which goes back to the importance of spending time with God on a daily basis.

Let your life song sing

There are many people who will not go to church or read a bible but they watch you. Unbelievers are watching you. They are looking to see if you live what you say you believe. This doesn't just start when you’re witnessing to someone. It’s about your character and the way you carry yourself; your reputation precedes you. Sometimes we can get caught up in the idea that we need to always be doing something, posting something on Facebook or making bold declarations for our faith but our strongest witness is our life song. When living set apart for God your life will be a witness to others.  Are you representing Christ on campus and posting bible verses on Facebook but then curse out the resident assistant in front of everybody in your dorm because you don't like a policy. This is not a good witness for Christ. So the question to ask yourself is: does my life line up to what God’s word says?

I told you about my friend in the beginning of this blog. I was an unbeliever who watched her life. There was a line she wouldn't cross because of her convictions and I respected it. I didn't understand at the time but she was one of the people God used to plant a seed in my heart for him. Our friendship is even sweeter now that I’m a believer in Christ because we can talk about the things of God and connect on a spiritual level. In college I was a complete wreck emotionally and mentally. I was miserable and without hope or peace in my life. God makes all things new! I'm truly not the same person. My passion in life is to minister to young adults. I understand your struggles and I want to see you live a life of victory in Christ. I know it may seem like you’re on an island living for God in college but you are not. There are other believers who live for him and you do not have to conform to the world. Be encouraged friend. With God all things are possible!

With all my love,

Andreea Johnson

Me and my friend Shavonne from college 13 years later! 

A spiritual direct deposit

Like a lot of people I have my paycheck directly deposited into my bank account. I know with confidence funds will be available at 12 am est the night prior to payday. I often began swiping my debit card before I check my bank statement to verify I have the money deposited into my account. This is normally not a big deal because the money is always there on payday. So I had a lesson on faith at the grocery store. I was buying groceries and I heard the Holy Spirit say, you have a lot of faith in your bank account. Why aren’t you that confident in your faith in me? I was blown away. The Holy Spirit then said to me, where does your income come from? I said my employer pays me. Wrong answer! God promptly reminded me that He is my source for everything. I quickly realized I needed a paradigm shift in my thinking. I was thinking in limited terms and focused on earthly things. Worst of all I was trusting in man and not God. I asked God, how on earth is this possible? How do I develop this mentality of a spiritual direct deposit? Lord, how can I walk with confidence that I can totally trust you automatically without hesitation?  In theory this sounds so good….and so spiritual. I mean, don’t we sing songs about this very thing at church every week? So why is it so hard to put faith into practice? How does this happen? Here are a few things I've learned:

Learn to crucify the flesh

To put our faith in Christ alone we have to learn to crucify the flesh daily. This involves choice and action. I have to make the decision to die to myself and then obey what God is telling me to do. This is a daily process. Jesus died on the cross for our sins. The bible says that we must deny ourselves, pick up our cross and follow Christ.When putting your faith in Christ it means that you died and now your life is in Christ. We give him control of our lives which means all hopes, dreams, wants, desires. Then look to Christ alone to fulfill you. God tells us His will for our lives step by step. You have to obey step 1 to get to step 2, 3, 4 and so on. If you don’t obey step one and try to get to step ten God will always re direct you back to step one before you can move forward.

“For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!" (Galatians 2:19-21, NIV)

 Obey God and leave the consequences to Him

My pastor talks about this all the time. He is completely right! I have experienced this myself. One thing I have also discovered is that I find it literally impossible to trust God when I am being disobedient. This is because I start trusting in myself and relying on my own understanding. Then I get all confused and frustrated. The bible says God will confuse the proud but give grace to the humble. My desire to do things my way is a form of pride. Disobedience is sin; partial obedience is also sin. I have also learned that sin runs wild. Whenever I start thinking hey I can dabble in a little sin in this area and it will be OK, I am always wrong! If I'm disobeying in one area it spills over to other areas like a wild fire which makes it impossible for me to trust God. Being disobedient also causes a loss of intimacy with God.When I obey God and allow him to run my life his peace comes over me like a tidal wave. I feel joy and excitement because I know He is taking care of my life. It also brings me back in close relationship with God. 

Spend time with God

I find it hard to trust someone I don’t know. This is how it works with God. The more time we spend with Him the more you know His character and the more you will be able to trust him. When you earnestly seek God He will draw near to you as you draw near to Him.

“The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love him, but the wicked he will destroy.” (Psalm 145: 17-20)

Be honest with God

I have fallen into the trap of telling God one thing but feeling totally different in my heart. It makes no sense to do this. God knows everything. He knows our secret thoughts, he knows our motives and intentions (Hebrews 4:13).  If something is bothering you, be honest. God knows anyway. When I had this lesson at the grocery store I realized I didn't completely trust God and I told Him the truth. I also asked him to help me, change me and give me renewed mind and heart. The good news is God is faithful to his word but we have to also do our part. 

Faith and Alzheimer's Disease

God loves people with Alzheimer's. I feel  really strongly that someone needs to know that.Writing about Alzheimer’s is really difficult for me. It’s emotionally painful, scary and unpredictable for the loved ones of its victims. Alzheimer’s has plagued my family. My grandmother has dementia which is a rapidly progressing form of Alzheimer’s.  

According to alz.org Dementia is not a specific disease. It’s an overall term that describes a wide range of symptoms associated with a decline in memory or other thinking skills severs enough to reduce a person’s ability to perform everyday activities. Alzheimer's is the most common form of dementia, a general term for memory loss and other intellectual abilities serious enough to interfere with daily life. Alzheimer's disease accounts for 50 to 80 percent of dementia cases.

I've given you the medical definition of Alzheimer’s. But I define it as a thief. It steals the minds of its victims.  My grandmother has dementia and I struggle with feelings of anger over her condition. 

One day I was trying my best to reason with my grandmother in the midst of her confused state. On this day she was particularly stubborn. It was well past bedtime and she didn't want to go to sleep.  I started to become frustrated with her defiance. I wanted to scream…just go to bed so I won't have to worry about wondering out the house in the middle of the night! Instead, I took a deep breath and sat on the bed. I started to talk to her and asked do you know who I am? I braced myself for her response because I knew the answer before I asked the question. She smiled looked into my eyes and said “I don’t know who you are but I know you love me.” Her words melted my heart. I hugged her all while struggling to hold back tears. I didn't go through the total emotional meltdown I was bracing myself for.  Instead, I felt God comfort my heart. 

God revealed to me she doesn't know me but she recognized His love which is His Holy Spirit living inside of me. In the days that followed, I realized I had done something so completely selfish. Over time I subconsciously wrote her off in my mind as already dead.  As I look back, this didn't happen overnight. It was so gradual I was completely blinded to it. I stopped calling her as much, I stopped buying her gifts, and I stopped praying for her. It was selfish of me because I did this as a defense mechanism.  The pain felt unbearable because she is so far from the vibrant, feisty and witty person I once knew. 

On that day I finally understood something; God has given me the grace to do the difficult things in life.God spoke this to Paul when he asked God to take away the thorn in his flesh. God choose not to take the thorn away but by God’s power Paul was empowered to complete God’s will for his life. (2 Corinthians 12: 7-10)  I can’t become consumed with my own selfishness and my feelings over dementia. My grandmother needs me more than ever. More importantly she needs Christ. Before she was stricken with dementia I have every reason to believe she hadn't given her life to Christ and that Jesus was not the Lord of her life. I have started to pray she will receive Christ as her savior before she leaves this earth. 

God has also given you this grace to get through the difficult seasons in your life. I don't know what you are going through but it's no accident you are reading this. God's grace is sufficient. It doesn't matter if the trial is painful and scary. It’s so easy to try and rush our way out of painful situations. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I want to squirm out of a difficult situation immediately. It’s our human nature to want to run from difficult situations but I believe God‘s glory is often revealed even more in the hard times.  

A Simple Thought

Last Saturday was a rainy day in Georgia. I like to crochet as a hobby so I decided to spend most of the day crocheting a scarf for a co-worker. As I crocheted I started to think about how glad I am that I’m not married because I wouldn’t have time to spend a whole day crocheting. The thought was shocking because two days prior I was having yet another pity party because someone else I know is getting married. So after much deliberation I came to the conclusion the real reason my thought was so surprising; it’s because deep down I was afraid if I become too content being single that God will leave me single. Panic, fear and doubt began to flood my mind. I began to hear thoughts like: honey, you are over 30, there are no eligible men in your age group and you missed your chance for marriage. I started to become paralyzed with fear. At that moment I had a choice. I could have thrown another pity party or I could fight back. This time I won the battle. I fought back! I put down the crochet project and picked up my bible. I refocused my mind and began to mediate on scripture. I let God’s word sink into my mind and I felt God’s peace. This peace was no comparison for my negative emotions. Soon after joy began to grow in my heart and before I knew it I was praising God and my focus shifting from doubt, fear and unbelief to worship and gratitude!
Here are a few things I recommend when crazy thoughts try to bombard you:

Stop and refocus your thoughts

For every lie swirling around in your head there is a truth to replace it. Recognize there is a spiritual battle going on. Satan wants to destroy Christians and the mind is the battlefield. If you want to have victory as a child of God you have to train your mind to think the way God does. This involves meditating on scripture. The word has to take root in your heart. Renewing your mind takes practice and training. You can’t renew your mind one time on Monday and expect it to stay that way all week. It’s like training for the gold at the Olympics. It’s going to take sacrifice, discipline and training. When we see people preparing for the Olympics we can appreciate the dedication and sacrifice involved. It should be the same way when it comes to renewing our minds. We’re training for something far more valuable than a gold medal. We’re training for the kingdom of heaven.

“ Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”(Romans 12:2, NIV)

Learn to recognize the voice of truth
The voice of truth is the Holy Spirit of God. You can only learn to know His voice by spending time with him. God wants you to hear from Him. He delights in having a relationship with us (his children) and it is completely possible to hear from Him. God also wants us to be one with him so we can know him and understand His will. We really can’t overcome our struggles in our own strength. Take a look at John 14:15 -16 and John 17:20-23.

Don't Be Offended - Share Christ

Recently a very dear friend of mine called me. It’s not unusual to hear from her because she is a good friend. The call from her wasn’t unusual; the topic of her conversation was the weird part. My friend is not a Christian, so her perspective isn’t from a biblical stand point. When she called my friend said: “you know, you and my boyfriend’s mom (let’s call her Betty) have a few things in common.” Of course I wanted to know what these things were since Betty is 20 years my senior. She went on to say “The thing you two have in common is that you are both Christian and neither of you are married.” Wow talk about a slap in the face. I didn’t see that coming at all. For all the singles you know how touchy this subject can be. She proceeded to tell me how Betty is disappointed and upset with God over the fact that she’s in her 50’s and has never been married. She went on to say she doesn’t understand why God wouldn’t want women like me and Betty to get married. She said she thought God values family and marriage. At that moment I felt like Jesus in the wilderness. Satan is twisting the scripture! (Ok, I’m not calling my friend Satan. But Satan does work through people to twist things)

In that moment, after the words rolled from her mouth though the receiver and into my ear I felt the offense building up in me. Did she forget that she is also not married? Is she trying to offend me? Is she saying that I’m doomed to be single because I’m a Christian? What is she trying to say? I immediately started to conjure up a fiery response and at that moment God gently spoke to me and said get out of your feelings and shift the focus off yourself, use this as an opportunity to tell her about me! Oh my goodness how could I have missed that. (Thank you Lord) So I did just that. I explained that she is correct, God does honor marriage. I also told her God commands us to have no idols before him and anything we can’t be happy without is an idol. This includes good things like marriage.

You shall have no other Gods before me. You should not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth or in the waters below. (Exodus 20:3-4, NIV).

I also told her God doesn’t owe us anything. It’s not about what we do; it’s about who God is. I then went on to say that although I am single, I still have the greatest gift of all. I humbly explained to my friend God gave me the greatest gift of all when He sent His son Jesus Christ to die and the cross for my sins and rose from the dead.

That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus us Lord,” and believe in your in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. (Romans 10:9-11, NIV)

She responded with a long uncomfortable silence. After a few seconds she said a long Oh-Kay as if to say whatever, I don’t want to hear about Jesus. She promptly changed the subject. The good news is we are still friends and we often have conversations about Jesus and God’s gift of salvation. So, when someone brings up a touchy subject and offense rises up, check with the Lord and ask him how to turn your offense into an opportunity to share Christ.